Teacher to class: Who invented fractions?   Class:  King Henry VIII !

    Question: Why do they build a fence around a cemetery?   


    AnswerBecause people are dying to get in!                                      

    Question:  What is heavier a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?

    Answer:  They both weigh the same.  A ton is a ton.

    Why is a math book sad?  Because it has so many problems!

    Aggie joke:  A special team of astronauts from Texas A&M were having a press conference regarding their upcoming mission to the sun.  The reporter asks the astronauts, "Aren't you concerned about your lives?  No one has ever tried this before the reporter exclaimed.  You will burn up long before you even get close to the sun!  Are you insane?  Its temperature is millions of degrees he added.  How do you plan on having a successful mission?"  The astonauts all looked at each other with a puzzled look on their face, smiled, and then replied to the concerned reporter, "Don't worry. We're not insane.  We know how hot the sun is!  That's why we're going at night!"

    Did you know, 5 out of 4 people have trouble with fractions?

    Science teacher to class: "Ice is formed when water is present with temperatures 32 degrees F or lower. The molecules in the water begin to slow down as the temperature becomes colder. Can anyone tell me where crushed ice comes from?  Crushed ice is ice that has had its heart broken."

    To the guy who invented zero:  Thanks for nothing!



                      MATH:  Mental Abuse Towards Humans



    From The Interesting But Useless Information Department

    (Real Facts from

    The number "1" or the word "one" appears on the dollar bill 16 times.


    A goldfish has an attention span of 3 seconds.   Hmmm . . . a 5th grader's is _?

    The average human eats 8 spiders while sleeping in their lifetime.

    The bumblebee bat is the smallest mammal on Earth.  It weighs less than a penny.

    The Statue of Liberty wears a size 879 sandal.

    The number of times a cricket chirps in 15 minutes plus 37 will give you the air temperature.

    A giant panda will eat 83 pounds of bamboo a day.  1,328 ounces.

    A gallon of water weighs 8.34 pounds.  What that means is 128 fl. oz = 133.44 ounces.

    The sun's temperature is nearly 15 million degrees Fahrenheit.  How hot is it at night?

    Nearly 9,000 people injure themselves with a toothpick each year.  Maybe they should use floss.

    A mosquito has 45 teeth.

    When thirsty, a camel can drink 25 gallons (100 quarts, 200 pints, 400 cups, and 3,200 fl. oz) of water in less than 3 minutes (180 seconds, 1/20 of a minute)

    The average woman is 5 inches shorter than a man. So much for equal heights!